Little League Baseball Battling Illegal Supplements

Little League battles the Flintstones

Officials for Little League Baseball have launched a campaign to investigate the alleged use of illegal supplements by some of its pre-teen athletes. A spokesperson from the league states, “children today are raised in a highly competitive environment and are pushed further than ever by their parents. It’s a real travesty that it’s come to this, and we fear that it’s not an isolated incident.”

According to reports, the issue first came to surface in Wichita, KS when a local team known as “Little Twisters” began an unprecedented winning streak winning 13 games in a row. “They kept winning, and winning and winning”, stated Joey Livingstone of the “Baby Jays”, a local rival team. “I just knew they were doing something. Then I noticed that they all swallowed a pill before the game and were drinking something in between each inning. That’s when I contacted Little League Baseball headquarters.”

When reached for comment, John McMurray, the third base coach for the “Little Twisters”, insisted that the kids are merely eating Flintstones vitamins and drinking Lime Gatorade. “Look, both of my sons play on this team. I would never do anything to harm them or to encourage them - or anyone else - to cheat. In fact, we stress the importance of a healthy lifestyle for all of our players. Many of the kids come from underprivileged families and aren’t getting the proper nutrition that they deserve and that’s why we give them these vitamins. In no way are these kids doing anything that they shouldn’t be doing.”

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