Tennessee Titans Win Super Bowl XXXIV

New York, NY - NFL Commissioner Robert Goodell retroactively declared the Tennessee Titans winner of Super Bowl XXXIV on Friday. The announcement came as a surprise to team owner Bud Adams, who happily accepted it. "A win is a win, and a Super Bowl win is the biggest win of them all. It's just unfortunate that we had to wait so long to get it." The decision to reverse the game's outcome came at a time when the NFL has suffered numerous black eyes. "This past year has been pretty rough for us.", stated Goodell. "We had a couple of high profile incidents before the season began. Then, once it started, we had to deal with a scandal where a team was found to have been using illegal procedures to gain unfair advantages on the field."

When asked if this decision will cause further damage to the league, Goodell responded "Absolutely not. In fact, we are doing this to help protect the league's image and to right a wrong." The wrong in this case, was an incorrect spot during the Titans' final drive of the game. While reviewing tapes of the game, league officials noticed that the ball was inadvertently placed one yard back from where it should have been. When taking this into consideration it was determined that Kevin Dyson's reach would have placed the ball into the end zone, thereby giving the Titans the lead and a subsequent victory over the St. Louis Rams.

St. Louis fans need not be disappointed. Despite having their title revoked, the league did award them a victory for Super Bowl XXXVI - a game that they originally lost to the New England Patriots. "This game was the catalyst of it all" stated Goodell. "After it was proven that the Patriots had filmed the Rams during pre-game practice sessions, we had no choice but to disqualify the win. Quite simply, those actions were a direct violation of league policy and had a direct impact on the outcome of the game." Goodell further explains, "Once we [the NFL Rules Committee] agreed to disqualify the Patriots, we decided that it was also necessary to go back and review previous Super Bowl games, hence the finding in Super Bowl XXXIV."

When asked how far back the league will go, he responded "We plan on reviewing every Super Bowl game, starting with the closest matches first. Once those are completed, we will move on to the games with the wider margins of victory." Currently, the league is examining tapes of Super Bowl XXV to determine if Buffalo Bills kicker Scott Norwood kicked from the correct hash mark. "It appears that the head referee may have spotted the ball on the right hash mark instead of the left where it should have been. Since the kick sailed to the right of the goal post, we may have to do a re-kick."

Meanwhile, parades are currently being scheduled this weekend in downtown Nashville as well as St. Louis where each team will be presented with the Lombardi Trophy. The New England Patriots organization has also announced that it will be appealing this ruling.


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