No More Facebook?
Palo Alto, CA - In a stunning announcement today, Facebook revealed that their CEO and founder, Mark Zuckerberg, has permanently deleted his Facebook account. The actual deletion occurred earlier this month and was a result of his latest encounter with one of his many stalkers. The stalker in question was said to have entered Zuckerberg's home when he was not there, and was later found dressed in Zuckerberg's sweats, while lying in bed and repeating the incoherent phrase "It's the shoes, man... It's all in the shoes".
In an odd twist of fate, numerous individuals have been using information publicly accessible from Zuckerberg's profile to not only find out where he lives, but to also see what he's doing and where he's at any given moment. Most of this information is typically found only in "private mode", however due to the complexities involved with setting that feature up, coupled with the many holes resulting from the lax Facebook security measures, hackers have been able to retrieve his personal information with relative ease. One such hacker, AlphaDawg99, says that he routinely signs into Zuckerberg's account and occasionally updates his current status to mischievous quotes. "I was able to figure out his password in like five minutes. It wasn't hard. It used to be 'harvard1', but then he changed it to 'w1nkl3v055'."
Zuckerberg could not be reached for comment, however a Facebook spokesperson stated the following, "Mr. Zuckerberg is intensely private and chose to delete his online profile in order to protect his and his family's privacy. At this time, he felt that it was no longer prudent to have any of his personal information exposed on the internet due to the many risks associated with it. He stresses that he is an isolated case and encourages everyone else to continue posting their personal information to Facebook because it cannot succeed without it."